2009 Draft Review

Now that it's over, can we all admit to ourselves that this was the weakest draft we've had in years? When Jrue Holiday-- a 6'4'', moderately athletic guard who averaged around 9 points in his one year at college-- is considered the "steal" of the draft, and 2 of the top 7 picks (Rubio and Curry) can't grow facial hair , something's not right. This is not to say that there weren't quality players in the draft, there were, it's just that many of them were overshadowed but a bunch of future NBDL-ers. A guy like Ty Lawson was drafted behind Terrence Williams and James Johnson. Christian Eyenga was drafted ahead of DaJuan Summers, Sam Young, and DeJuan Blair. The theme of this draft: familiarity breeds contempt. I usually dismiss anything that Dicky V says, but apparently he agrees with me on this. With this in mind, here are the best, and worst, pics of the draft.

Best Picks:
Tyler Hansborough, Indiana: A lot of people in Indiana might be upset today, but in 7 years when Earl Clark, Austin Daye, and James Johnson are out of the league and Crazy Eyes is still a big part of their team, they'll be happy to have him. People seem to forget that he is arguably the best Tar Heel of ALL TIME. To me, that is a far better indicator of what he'll be in the pros than a 40 inch vertical or a good work-out could ever be. Kudos to Larry Bird and Jim O'Brien for making the most unsexy, but possibly the safest, pick in the draft.

DeJuan Blair, San Antonio: Big Baby Blair was 9th on my list and 14 on Jay Bilas', yet somehow he slipped all the way to 37. He was by far the best offensive rebounder in the draft and will get a lot of minutes for the Spurs next year. Their draft, combined with the trade for Richard Jefferson, makes San Antonio the most improved team heading into July.

Johnny Flynn, Minnesota: After drafting Rubio, the Wolves could have shied away from Flynn. Instead, they got the best available player in a weak draft. Think of Flynn as a more athletic Jameer Nelson.

Sam Young, Memphis: Memphis might have had the best draft of any team. They were looking for solid, defensive minded players who could contribute immediately, and they got them. Young's game reminds me a lot of Trevor Ariza's--a long, athletic defender who can knock down the 3 consistantly.

Worst Picks:
Christian Eyenga, Cleveland: I'll admit that I don't know much about this dude. That being said, I'm going to go ahead and assume that he can't shoot and that he's not going to contribute this year. With that in mind, they could have landed a shooter like Sam Young, Jodie Meeks, DaJuan Summers, Chase Buddinger, or Jack McClinton. Any of those guys would have contributed to a Cavs championship run and been a great compliment to Prince James. Instead they wasted a roster spot.

James Johnson, Chicago: Chicago really needed a scoring guard and instead chose a big man who isn't going to see the court this year. They should have drafted Jrue Holliday, Ty Lawson, or Jeff Teague, with the 16th pick. Then, if they really loved this dude, they could've gotten him with the 26th pick. A wasted pick that could have really helped a team that is likely to lose Ben Gordon and/or Luol Deng.

Biggest D-Bag:
Brandon Jennings, Milwaukee: I can't believe he had the nerve to show up 4 picks late, take the stage like everyone was waiting for him, and ruin Earl Clark's moment. Jennings reeks of douchebaggery.

With regards to the Manny news, all I have to say is this: the DEA must be VERY bored if they're investigating a couple dudes who sell woman's fertility drugs.

Rich getting richer?

In an attempt to upstage the sad, small-market, teams in the draft lottery (Knicks excluded), the NBA's juggernauts are making big moves.

The Cavs traded for a washed up Aristotle. This move makes very little sense to me. While his 14 points and 10 rebounds might look snazzy on paper, Shaq is going to clog the lane and make it much harder for Lebron to get to the hoop. Also, the dude can't guard the pick and roll, the go- to play of the Magic and Celtics. What the Cavs really need are consistent shooters (read: Hedu Turkoglu) to complement Lebron's drive-and-kick style of play.
There's obviously a reason--other than money-- that the Suns are trading The Big Cactus for a dude who is most likely retiring (Ben Wallace), the 30th pick, an inconsistent "shooter" who doesn't play defense (Pavlovic), and half a million dollars. The dude's washed up.

The Magic, anticipating Turkoglu's departure, also traded for a washed up superstar. They'll send Courtney Lee and the expiring contracts of Rafer Alston and Tonie Batie to the Nets for Vinsanity and Ryan Anderson. They're taking a win now approach by trading their most promising player (other than Dwight) for a 32 year old, 8 time all star with bad knees.

On the flipside, I love this trade for the Nets. The trade makes an already impressive young squad even more promising. With Devin Harris, Brook Lopez, and Courtney Lee, this team is stacked with young talent. Not only that, but this trade brings in two expiring contracts, and frees up Vince's 33 million over the next 2 years. Sorry Knick fans, but this makes the Nets the front runner in the Bron Bron sweepstakes. The prospect of Lebron teaming up with all these young stars is very, very scary.

Lastly, The Lakers, showing supreme confidence in Sun Yue and Adam Morrison, sold the 29th pick in tonight's draft to the Knicks for 3 million dollars, sighting a lack of roster space. Does this mean we're resigning LO and Ariza? Sounds like it.

YES!

Courtesy of Toltzis:

Doom Bizzle's Top 10 Prospects

Because all the hype around Ricky Rubio is pissing me off:

1. Blake Griffin -- A more athletic Carlos Boozer
2. Hasheem Thabeet -- At worst, Theo Ratliff. At best, Mutumbo. Either way, he'll be productive for a lot of years.
3. Tyreke Evans -- The only "raw" draftee that I think will be productive in his freshman campaign
4. Johnny Flynn -- Most over-looked player in the draft. Has an NBA-ready game.
5. James Harden -- Reminds me of a young Grant Hill.
6. Stephen Curry -- Dude's ridiculously quick release will allow him to get his shot off in the NBA
7. Jordan Hill -- A banger down low with sweet hair
8. Gerald Henderson -- I'm predicting 12 ppg and 6 rpg in first year. Perfect fit for a team like the Bulls.
9. Dejuan Blair -- Stronger, more defensive minded Elton Brand (assuming his knees hold up)
10. Ricky Rubio -- When was the last time a European this hyped was actually good?

5 other dudes who will make an impact next season:

1. Tyler Hansborough -- He's a tool, but he's fearless.
2. Wayne Ellington -- UNC guards who stay in college for more than a year are always good.
3. Jerel McNeal -- Great scorer off the bench for a playoff team (read: Hornets, Suns, Sixers)
4. Darren Collison -- Shut down defender who can run with the best of 'em
5. Sam Young -- Got better in each of his 4 years at Pitt

Poll on ESPN...pshhhhh

"Was a 2-0 win against Spain a game-changing moment for the sport of soccer in the United States?"

Yes, for the next 48 hours until we get smoked by Brazil and everything goes back to normal. I've heard this hundreds of times--after our run in the 2002 World Cup, after we beat Brazil in a friendly a couple years ago, after David Beckham came to America, etc. Unlike Europe, the only soccer team that anyone in the United States has a vested interest in is the national team. Because of this, soccer's popularity in the US is, and will continue to be, directly correlated with their success. So while we're all excited today, this will all be a distant memory come Sunday when we lose to Brazil. Let's be real, soccer (and lacrosse) will always be a secondary sport in America because the only people who care about it are skinny white dudes (picture above excluded).

The Forgotten Weaver

From Wikipedia: "Signed by the Los Angeles Dodgers as an amateur free agent in 1991, Weaver made his Major League Baseball debut with the Los Angeles Dodgers on May 30, 1998, and appeared in his final game on August 17, 2000."

P.S. He's not related to the other two.

Rambo vs The Zen Master

Taking a page from Vin Scully's book, Phil Jackson is consideringg only coaching some away games, leaving the majority to Kurt Rambis.

This seems like a ploy on Phil's part. It would allow the Zen Master to cash in on his 12 million, while holding a part-time position. For 12 million dollars not only should he coach every single game, whether here or in Kabul, but he should act as the equipment manager.

If Phil is actually considering this, then it's time for the Zen Master to throw in the towel and hand the reins to Rambis. Although he probably wouldn't accept, Kupchak should offer him a front office job or a spot as an assitant coach. I can't imagine a team with two head coaches would ever work.

Sad Day in the Western Conference, Good day for tacos

News of the Spurs trading Bruce Bowen has got me kinda blue. He has been a mainstay on the Spurs through their championship seasons, and through many heated battles with the Lake Show. I've always respected, and even liked, Bowen and, quite frankly, I feel bad for him. Going from a perennial contender to Milwaukee in the golden years of his career isn't ideal. The dude got a raw deal.

Don't get me wrong, anyone in their right mind would have made the trade from the Spurs' perspective. This is most likely the beginning of some significant change in San Antonio--they're clearly looking to go younger and more athletic. The trade gives them a pretty scary lineup when Parker, Ginobili (assuming he's healthy), Jefferson and Duncan are on the floor. At the same time, the losses of Oberto and Kurt Thomas drastically shorten their bench. It'll be interesting to see what they do the rest of the offseason.

On another note, the dudes who stole Lance Armstrong's bike are getting 3 years in jail while Dante Stallworth is set to serve 30 days......ummmmmm

AAAAANYWAY, I had some bomb ass carne asada tacos last night. My buddy Andrew and I made the trek down Pico to East LA to eat at El Parian. I ordered 3 carne asada cos and Andrew ordered 2 carne asada and one goat-type-thingy. Really, really delicious and authentic. If you're ever in East LA, and you like tacos like I do, check it out.

A sign that they're about to release the names on the Mitchell report?

Mannyquerque!!!

After months of getting his hair did (--->) and eating sushi, Manbone will finally make his first appearance since his suspension as an Albuquerque Isotope--the Dodgers' triple A affiliate. Amid speculation that Manny would be making an appearance in Albuquerque, the club "sold almost 7,000 tickets [Friday], compared to a typical pre-game reserved sales in the hundreds for a midweek series in June". Can you say Mannyquerque?

With only nine games left on his suspension, the Big Club sits 8 games ahead of the Giants (who are, surprisingly, 6 games over .500). LA's other Zen Master now faces some tough decisions. Does he:

A) Take Pierre out of his everyday role despite his incredible production? I really hope not. This would put a struggling Furcal in the leadoff spot and completely change the dynamic of a lineup that has been very productive over the past 41 games.

B) Move Pierre back to center, Kemp to right, and Ethier to the bench. Personally, I think this is our best option. Pierre has about as much arm strength as an adolescent Chad Pennington, but what he brings to the Dodgers offensively outweighs what he takes away in the field.

C) Trade Pierre. I'm not sure what we could get for him, but if the Dogs can land some fresh arms for the bullpen, it might be worth it. Torre's "excessive" use of Troncoso and Belasario has been well documented, and perhaps the Dogs could get some hurlers to help ease their burden. More arms now means fresher arms come October.

I only wish we were in the AL.

DB

Dodgers Spank the Rally Monkeys

Five things that made me happy about tonight's win:

1) The number of Dodger fans in Anaheim. Turns out Artie Moreno's marketing strategy in Downtown was a failure.

2) James Loney hitting his second home run of the series. Jar Jar entered the series with 3 on the year.

3) Clayton Kershaw. No explanation necessary.

4) Kobe rooting for the Dodgers, and staying the whole game.

5) Big Brox finally getting some love outside of LA. I quote: "He's become the best closer in the National League"-- Jon Miller

Brutal loss last night, made worse by the way we lost. It's never easy to swallow a come-from-behind loss against a rival. Not to mention my new favorite Dog, Mitch Jones, went 0-2 and got hit by a pitch. I'm not sure why Torre put in Mota over Troncoso and Bellisario in the 8th. I'm assuming he was planning on the game going to extra innings and wanted to have his go-to arms available later on. Or maybe it was because of THIS.

Anyway, I left my house after the game in a bad mood. A buddy of mine and I went to see the band Chief perform in Hollywood. Real solid. As I was entering the venue, some kid came up and explained to me how I ruined his baseball career by hitting so many home runs off him. It was awesome. For sure the highlight of my night. The venue was an abandoned warehouse that had been taken over and refurbished by a theater company. It was pretty cool and the music was excellent.

After the show, my buddy and I stopped in to Los Tacos--a hole in the wall off Santa Monica, for some carne asada tacos. The meat was dry, salty, and overcooked. They tasted more like briscuit tacos, and we were greatly dissapointed, mostly because they looked delicious.

Tonight, the Weaver bros duke it out. Our Weaver hasn't started a game since May 20th and has pitched only 4 innings in June. Their Weaver is a potential All-Star starter. According to their parents, "Jered will pull for Jeff, and Jeff will pull for Jered. That's the way it's always been. One game won't change that". Sure, whatever.

Doom Bizzle

Where Are They Now: Stanislav Medvedenko

Stanislav "Slava" Medvendenko played with the Lakers for from 2000-2006 averaging 4.47 ppg and just over 2 rebounds per game. During his time with the Lakers, he was widely known for his infuriating desire to shoot every time he touched the ball, and his ability to agitate Steven A. Smith. In 2006, Slava suffered a herniated disc, forcing him to miss the entire season. In March of that year he was waived by the Lakers in order to make roster space for Jim Jackson.

After his speech at the 2001 Championship parade, Randy Newman sued Slava for copyright infringement (WATCH: HERE). He returned to Ukraine--$16 in his pocket and the shirt on his back-- the 15th richest man in the country and a national hero. The next year, a hard lesson and a little more English learned, he returned to the stage ready to make up for the previous year. The crowed waited anxiously for his turn to speak. The wait was well worth it, as his speech captured a nation (WATCH: HERE). The speeches created a frenzy, and Slava had found his calling.

For the past two years Slava has served as one of Obama's primary speech writers. His speeches are simple, yet deeply profound. In 2007, during some downtime at a campaign stop in Jefferson City, MO, David Axelrod bet him that he could not eat 10 sausages in 3 minutes. Infuriated, Medved responded "Yes we can!" The rest is history.

Catching up with the Blue Crew

Well, it's been over a week since we've written exclusively about our friends in blue, and for that I apologize. We, like the rest of Los Angeles, have been caught up in Lakermania. However, now that we've had the parade, it's time to take down our Laker flags and put up the Doggies.

So let's catch up...

Since the 10th we've gone 3-3, scored 19 runs, given up 22, signed a 18 year old Korean high schooler, avoided our first 3-game losing streak of the season, diagnosed Randy "Whooping" Wolf with a "persistent cough," optioned my man Jamie Hoffman, gotten pwned by Fatty "Andruw" Jones, and seen 31 year old rookie Mitch Jones get his first career hit. Alright, now that we're caught up we can look towards the future.

Tonight, Whooping Cough Wolf takes the mound, attempting to take the series 2-1 from the Oakland A's. After a very strong May--a month that he finished with a 2.35 ERA--the ginger hurler has struggled in June, allowing 11 earned runs in 17 innings.

Worst case scenario tonight: Wolf gives up 6 earned runs in 4 innings, goes on the DL with scarlet fever, Dodgers lose 8-3.

Best case scenario: Wolf has a Billingsly-esque performance--pitching a 5 hit shutout, coughs on Eric Milton who gets sick, goes on the DL, and is forced to retire. Dodgers win 5-0.

On another note, the Dodgers outfielders, probably feeling the heat as Manny's return approaches, have continued to hit the crap out of the ball. Pierre and Kemp are both batting over .300 and Ethier leads the team with 11 home runs and three walk-off hits--two of which were home runs. Manuel will make his single-A debut next week, once he recovers from a sore throat. Here's to hoping that his hitting mechanics, and not his sore throat or attitude, rubs off on the impressionable 18 and 19 year olds he's gonna be playing with.

Hasta la Pasta,

Doom Bizzle

Winningest Managers

1: Connie Mack (3731 victories)


2: John McGraw (2763 victories)


3: Tony LaRussa (2497 victories)


4: Bobby Cox (2357 victories)


5a: Sparky Anderson (2194 victories)


5b: Joe Torre (2194 victories)

NO ME GUSTA

LATimes.com is running ads promoting this abomination. You can only get it at Rubio's. Not sure where you'll find a Rubio's, maybe in El Monte or South Bay. Even the Qdoba Poblano Pesto Burrito is a better choice than this.

In other news, you can stream the Lakers' victory parade at KCal9.com. 1 million fans showed up in 2002. This happened in 2001 (note seconds 43-47):


More Mad Dog:

Luv U Pau, Luv U Skeksis

(via Pat. thx Pat.)

Umm....What now?

A couple bogus off-season scenarios I'd love to see:

1) After the Lakers lock up Ariza for 5 years and $22 Million, they complete a sign and trade with the Houston Rockets: Lamar Odom and Sasha Vujacic for Ron Artest. Assuming LO asks for around 7 milly a year and Artest demands around 11, the money matches up. The Lakers would maintain their length advantage over just about everyone else, and Artest brings some street-cred to the squad.

2) Lakers trade Sasha "Fierce" Vujacic, Luke Walton, Adam Morrison and their 1st round pick for David Lee in what will later be recognized as the pastiest trade of all time. Sasha, Luke and Adam all fit into D'Antoni's system perfectly--they can run and shoot, and they have length. With the 29th pick they could also take Jodie Meeks or some other scorer. David Lee provides the Lakers with a true power forward and some grit and toughness. This deal would also give the Lakers the economic flexibility to sign both Odom and Ariza.

3) Lakers sign Jason Kidd or Allen Iverson. I am a huge fan of both players and would love nothing more than to see either one of them in the purple and gold. They're both still in search of a ring, and who knows, maybe one of them will be willing to take a SERIOUS pay cut to join a real contender.

Failure = Fuel

"LA will be burning cop cars." That's what my good buddy Max said. I bet him $5 it wouldn't happen. We've tasted victory before. The LAPD won't let 2000's violent fandom take place again. It's post 9/11. And it's a recession. The city won't pay for a championship parade (update: they'll split it 50/50 with the team), much less let a few unruly wastrels molotov LA's Navi's.

I won the bet, though I got about as much pleasure out of that little victory as I did out of last night's Lakers victory. OK, a tad less - winning a bet vs. Max is like beating a small child at Scrabble. Winning an NBA championship is a much bigger deal, but for some reason I'm not as energized by the 08-09 title as I should be. It's almost as if I saw Kobe hoist the Larry O'Brien trophy, Pau, Lamar, Mbenga and friends in the background, before he actually did it last night. There were no goosebumps when the team was on the podium. Maybe I was too hungover from the previous night, too sun-baked from the day, or maybe the sight of Vanessa Bryant and kids reeked too strongly of a publicity stunt on Kobe's part. Let Gary Vitti and Jordan Farmar stroke that trophy, not Sasha & Melia Natalia and Gianna, yafeelme? This championship wasn't a foregone conclusion when the finals kicked off, but after the Magic's game four implosion, it certainly seemed that way. Today is a Monday that's just slightly less lame than the last.

"You can't succeed until you've tasted defeat." I dunno who said that, but I think it's especially true of the NBA today. Failure poisons MLB players forever - especially relief pitchers. Failure in the NFL regularly turns highly touted college QB's into Division II QB coaches. Failure destroys skiers and racecar drivers - especially failures that occur at speeds over 50 MPH. But in the NBA, failure is fuel. Nobody on ORL had really failed before this series. David Robinson was PWND by the '90s before Jordan retired and the greatest power forward of all-time helped get him atop the heap. KG's career was defined by failure before the Celts took the title last year. If you're a Lakers fan, you know the failures of the past seven years, on and off the court, are too numerous to count. The team is stronger for them. Kobe knows what doesn't work. Luke Walton and Jordan Farmar store those failures in their fat and burn them when they're called off the bench. Lamar knew that nothing less than a title could alter his cringe-worthy destiny. Last night he did it, and today we think of him in a totally different light than we did two months ago.

More powerful than any of that might be the lingering thought in Magic players' minds that they couldn't win. Especially after Courtney Lee missed the alley-oop, especially after Dwight missed those two free throws, especially after they gave up that 12-point lead in the first quarter of last night's game. The Magic hadn't failed BEFORE. They were in the midst of failing NOW. Shots don't fall when you don't believe, and more driven opponents thrive on that lack of faith. That's what you saw in the second and third quarter last night when the Lakers played some of the best high-octane basketball of the season. They kicked ass, and for a minute made me think they could beat last year's Celtics.

Now, two questions remain. First, will the Lakers want it enough next year to repeat? And will the Cavs acquire a difference maker to make LeBron's failure relevant? Coming from a basketball fan first, Lakers fan second, I hope the answer to both of those questions is Yes.

Lakers::Champions as Tacos::Awesome

Well, once again the Lakers are champions, and that's pretty awesome. I only wish the series would have gone a little differently.

Don't get me wrong, I love the Lakers. I'm happy Kobe got his redemption and Phil got his 10th championship. That being said, this series, and particularly game 5, left a lot to be desired in the drama department. Game 5 was like a superhero movie where the villain is captured in the first 20 minutes. You're forced to watch the rest of the movie because you payed 12 dollars, but as the movie goes on, the sense of triumph slowly deteriorates until you feel apathetic about the whole thing.

The game was decided, in my eyes, after the 16-0 run in the late first and early second quarters. The big lead was incredibly satisfying, if only for a couple minutes. After that I began to wish that the D-Fish thriller had actually been game 5. I wished that we were beating up on the Celtics or the Cavs--teams that, quite frankly, are more relevant in the public eye, and would've been more competitive. I wished that the game had taken place in LA. The victory just lacked the excitementt that series clinchers are supposed to have, and there was no real sense of accomplishment in the blowout.

All that being said, the victory is sweet and a boring series sure isn't going to stop the flipping of cop cars and the looting downtown.

I'll see ya'll at the parade.

DB

University of Shady Characters

In light of recent news:

http://abcnews.go.com/Sports/wireStory?id=7800022

Can anyone say "Blue Chips"? Tim Floyd even looks like Nick Nolte in the movie.

The Return of D-Swish

Holy frijoles! What a game.

The Moogster and I stopped in to The Shack on Wilshire Blvd to catch the game before I took her to the airport. The place was packed with a ton of drunken, middle-aged Laker fans and two REALLY drunk, middle-aged ladies rooting for the Magic. The crowd was incredibly obnoxious, and the Magic ladies were by far the worst They took every opportunity to make their allegiance known--jumping out of their seats and shrieking at every rebound, turnover, or foul. Unfortunately, the Moogster and I were sandwiched between these two Magicianettes.

Throughout the first half the Laker fans were forced to endure the raucous chicks in the back because, quite frankly, we had very little to cheer about. Then the third quarter rolled around and a completely different Laker team took the court. Not sure what Phil said to the boys in the locker room, but whatever it was, it worked. Our defense clamped down, our shot selection improved, and Trevor A-three-za got hot. It was awesome. The ladies in the back shut up, our food finally made its way to our table (although the wings were very sub-par), and the mood in the bar improved dramatically.

I'm not gonna lie, I had given up hope when we were down 5 with 12 seconds to go. I was planning the best route to get to the 405 when Superman got fouled.

I can't help but think that his misses, and D-Swish's subsequent trifecta, were the basketball gods punishing the Magic for the abhorrant befuddled women sitting next to me. Either way, it was an incredible course of events that Laker fans won't soon forget.

Now, while I watch Stargate on HBO, our boys in purple sit one win away from a post-Diesel championship and parade through downtown LA. In a way I hope we close it out at home, but I'll most definitely take a W on Sunday.

Boo Ya,

DB

MANNY SPEAKS!!!

For the first time since his suspension my man Rambo spoke out about getting the boot for 50 games and his return.

"Whatever happened, that's in the past. I'm coming to play my game and move on. What happened, happened. I spoke to [owner] Frank McCourt, I apologized, I spoke to [manager] Joe Torre, my teammates and I'm ready to move on. I didn't kill nobody, I didn't rape nobody. That's it."

Coming out of anyone else's mouth this might seem disingenuous (read: A-Rod), but I'm convinced Manbone will come back and play as if nothing ever happened. He is too aloof/detached, and his priorities are too skewed, to let the public scrutiny he's sure to recieve outside of Chavez Ravine effect how he carries himself or how he plays the game. I can't think of a player who is more aptly wired to handle the steroid chants in San Francisco, the plastic syringes in San Diego, or new nickenames/catch phrases the Chicago Tribune is going to come up with for him.

Unlike A-Rod, Manny genuinely does not care what anyone thinks about him. He's the furthest thing from media-sensitive, and I'm not at all concerned about his performance on the field once he gets back from suspension.

I, for one, can't wait to see those ratty locks glowing in the pacific sun.

Some headlines from the LA Times today:

"Magic turn up heat on Lakers"
"This all seems unfamiliar to the Lakers"
"Kobe Bryant's weariness should make Lakers fans wary"

um.....really? It took the Magic a record setting performance for them to win a game that was tied late in the 4th. If me, my girlfriend, my grandma, my dog, and sammybreeze shot 65%, we could probably beat the Lakers. I don't know if these reporters really believe that the Magic are going to keep that up or they're just trying to hype the series, but the idea that Orlando had some cathartic experience and figured out the Lakers is ridiculous. The bottom line is this: the lakers played crappy and the Magic played the best they could possibly play.

Unfamiliar? What about the Rockets series?

As for Kobe being tired. Of course the dude is tired. Everyone is tired. The Mamba has carried the team on his back for the past 3 weeks. Did these writers forget he had 20 points in the first half and looked like the best player in the world during the first quarter? The Mamba had one bad half. I'd bet my life's savings that he's gonna tear it up on Thursday.

Charles Barkley put it best in his column--yeah he had his own column in The Times-- when he so eloquently said: It was a good game.

Us Angelinos have nothing to worry about. We're not gonna play that bad again and I don't forsee another shooting clinic like that by the Magic.

Best Day Ever

Who has two thumbs and had an awesome LA sports experience last night? THIS GUY. My dad got two seats in the dugout club from his agent and, being that my girlfriend is in town from Indiana, gave them up to me and the moogster.

We got to Dodger stadium in 20 minutes. Traffic was a breeze and the hybrid was purring like a kitten. We pulled in to our reserved spot in parking lot G right outside the left field bleachers. After walking through the private shop and martini lounge we got to our seats--literally an arms length from the Phillies' on deck circle. I was about to head back to the lounge to grab a hot dog or four, when our private waiter approached us and asked what we wanted.

"2 Dale Jrs (bud lights), 2 Hot Dogs, and some garlic fries," I told my new friend.

Service was quick and the food was free. When my view wasn't obstructed by Ryan Howard's huge butt--the moogster described it as "phenomenal" and said she'd never seen anything like it--, I could see the pitches break and the plays unfold. Also, apparently I was on TV trying to catch a Jimmy Rollins foul ball--some dork with a glove and a Phillies championship shirt ended up with it. To put it bluntly: it was awesome. My only complaint were the dozen or so Phillies fans who spent all that money just to make everyone else in the section miserable. Every time the Phillies got a hit some d-bag would make it known to everyone within a miles radius that he had "called it". Every time they scored a run, the father-son visitors sitting behind us would stand up and scream "f#@$@# champions" loud enough to force the father sitting in front of me to cover his son's ears.

The game was not so hot. Randy Wolfenstein gave up a couple runs, we fell behind, and we couldn't get back in it. Yeah, yeah, whatever. I sent the moogster into the Martini Lounge every 20 minutes or so to check the Lakers score and text me if my presence was necessary. By the time the game was unfolding it was the 8th inning and the Dodger game was somewhat out of hand.

I stumbled into the Martini Lounge (4 beers deep) with 3 minutes to go in the 4th and the Lakers up 4. We watched the end of regulation and overtime with a ton of passionate, rowdy, drunken Laker fans. The sour taste left from the Dodger game and the Phillies fans was replaced by the sweet nectar of victory.

MAMA THERE GOES THAT MAN

Boo ya! The Lakers looked more like the 2000 squad that nearly swept through the playoffs than the team that almost lost to the depleted Rockets. Their defensive intensity was incredible. They contested shots, clogged the lane, and crashed the boards. On offense, they got it down low to Pau and Bynum in the first half and let Kobe put on his mean face and create open shots in the second. The only thing we did wrong tonight was let Sasha Fierce touch the ball.

I have to question my man Van Gundy's (the fat one) decision to give Nelson that many minutes. Actually, it's not so much that he gave the minutes to Nelson, but that he took them from Alston--Rafer played 25 minutes, Nelson played 23. Skip To My Lou has played a brilliant point throughout the playoffs, managing the games and getting the ball to the right people. Not only was giving Nelson these minutes a slap in the face to poor Rafer, but a desperate move on Van Gundy's part. It's essentially Stan saying "I don't think the team you've been watching is good enough to beat the Lakers". I would understand throwing Nelson into the fire if they were down 15 points or 2-0 in the series, but 23 minutes tonight was just silly.

Lastly, the announcers made too much of an effort to sound objective. If you're gonna let the other Van Gundy call the game, let him call the game. Instead, the dudes were criticizing Stan just to criticize him--excoriating (what up SATs) him for calling a time out when his team was down 4 and a bunch of other petty shit.

On a brighter note, this was the first time SVG hasn't looked as though he was about to have a heart attack during his mid-game interview.

Salaam Alekum,

Doom Bizzle

Kobe vs. Howard: Two Delicious Chickens

After squandering through tons of NBA Finals Predictions online and watching hours of coverage on ESPN, I've noticed that two names keep popping up (rightfully so) as key difference makers in the series, Kobe Bryant and Dwight Howard. It got me thinking, are there any players in the NBA more different than these two--aside from Kirk Hinrich and Stephen Jackson. Sure, they're both megaultrasuperstars, but beyond that it's like trying to compare apples and orangutans.

In order to elaborate on their differences, I've decided to compare each player to a very distinct, and delicious, chicken dish in Los Angeles.

Dwight Howard: the Chicken basket from Reddi Chick-- simple, filling, and delicious. The basket itself consists of two components: chicken and fries. For the purposes of this post, think of the Chicken as Dwight's defensive game and the fries his offensive. The fries are crispy, but perhaps a tad too greasy. The seasoning, however, is awesome and makes up for the grease. The fries are littered around the rotisserie half chicken, serving as a delicious compliment to the true heart of the meal. The chicken is cooked to perfection, without too much fat or skin hanging off of it. Typically, you get a large breast, a leg, and a small wing--think of these as rebounds, blocks, and contested shots--enough chicken to keep you full for quite some time. When you get to the bottom of the basket you find grease soaked fries. I tend to leave these fries so as to not ruin the 3 and a half quarters of a delicious, delicious meal. Instead, I head to the soft serve (read: Rashard Lewis) to cap off my yummy 4 quarters of grubbery.

Kobe Bryant: the 1/2 Chicken plate from Cha Cha Chicken--multi-faceted, healthy and also delicious. The 1/2 Chicken is served smothered in a sweet and spicy jerk sauce and comes with sides of rice and beans, a small salad, and plantains. The chicken, Byrant's offensive game, is roasted to perfection and covered in a sauce that makes it unique. The little chunks of fruit in the sauce make it sweet. The tasteful blend of Cayenne and habanero make it spicy. The garlic makes it...well, you get the point. Beneath the sauce, lies the foundation of the meal--a straight forward, perfectly

cooked breast, wing and thigh that would be a more-than-satisfactory without the sauce. While both the sauce and chicken are awesome, it is the proportion of sauce to chicken that makes the meal unparalleled. To compliment the chicken, Cha Cha provides rice and beans, a salad, and plantains. The rice and beans (read: Kobe's defensive game) are perhaps the most underrated aspect of the meal. They're solid and well proportioned, and, if you're lucky, the sauce that makes the meal so special will sneak in to the occasional bite. Then there's the salad. Actually forget that, I usually get double rice and beans and I'm pretty unfamiliar with the salad. Mooooooving on, there's the plantains, a fine way to end the meal. The 3 and a half quarters of devouring chicken and rice and beans leaves you wanting a little more. The plantains are the perfect remedy. They're cooked perfectly and always hit the spot at the end of the meal.

So there you have it. I have somewhat successfully compared Dwight Howard and Kobe Bryant to chicken.

PS If you live in LA and haven't been to one or both of these places, shame on you.

James Augustine might as well still be on ORL

Conventional basketball wisdom says you can't rely on the three to win a 7-game series. With a 23'9" line (22' at the corners), the shortage of legit shooters in the NBA (or anywhere on Earth), and the quickness and length of NBA defenders, the long ball isn't going to fall at a consistent enough rate to make it the cornerstone of a championship.

That shit is all bogus, dude. Or is it? NCAA teams have gone deep in the tourney riding the 3 ball since the 19'9" line was universally instituted in 1986 (it's now 20'9", btw). That 2005 Illinois team, in particular, comes to mind. Deron Williams, Luther Head and Dee Brown dominated beyond the arc throughout the year, leading the Illini to the championship where they lost only their second game of the season to a spicy hot UNC team loaded with NBA size and talent (Felton, McCants, Marvin Williams, May). It was the three ball that got the Illini there... and the three ball that finally took them down. In that championship game they shot just 12-40 from beyond the arc.

The NBA is a totally different game than the NCAA, but the similarities between that Illinois team and the Magic are hard to ignore. Lewis, Turkoglu and Alston/Pietrus/Nelson/Lee(/Redick?) are the team's perimeter sharpshooters and Dwight Howard is their James Augustine. You might even say the Magic will have 4 long ball shooters on the court at any given time. That's dangerous, especially considering how hot these dudes have been of late. The Magic made more 3's in a six-game playoff series than any other team in NBA history vs. the Cavs. Bill Simmons notes in his latest mailbag, "From Game 7 of the Boston series through Game 4 of the Cleveland series, the Magic drained 55 of 119 3-pointers (47 percent)." He goes on to say, "That's impossible."

Impossible to reproduce during this series. Especially with our Rashad McCantses and Marvin Williamses flying across the floor and throwing their hands all up in Magic players' grillz. The Magic will be lucky to nail 40% from beyond the arc during any one game against us. Even if they do eclipse 40%, the Magic won't be guaranteed a victory. Far from it. The Lakers won the only two games during which they allowed the Nugs to shoot over 40%. Thankfully for Lakers fans, this series is going to come down to a lot more than threes. If only it could possibly come down to a lot more than L.O.

My Hero Dan Evans

Today marks the six year anniversary of the 2003 MLB Draft. In the first 40 rounds of that draft, the Dodgers acquired four teenagers who would eventually make it to the big leagues--Chad Billingsly, Matt Kemp, Andy Laroche, and Xavier Paul. The previous year, the same GM drafted six gentlemen who would eventually become big leaguers--James Loney, Jonathon Broxton, Russell Martin, Eric Stults, James McDonald, and Delwyn Young. 

Can you tell me the name of the GM responsible for these picks?

The Answer is Dan Evans, one of the most underrated General Managers in Dodger history. During his time in the front office, Evans elevated the Dodgers' farm system from a ranking of 28 in 2001, to a ranking of 2 in 2004. The team also improved (standings-wise) in each of his 4 years at the helm of the organization. Furthermore and henceforth, Big D was responsible for bringing in the golden child of the Dodger front office, Kim Ng. 

So tonight when you go to bed, thank your lucky stars for Dan Evans. The Smoking Doggies would not be the team they are today without him. 

Sweet Laxer Loves Dodgers

And after last night's game I dunno why he wouldn't. I was sitting at a sports bar post Up viewing, when the third period of the Penguinos vs. Wings game came to a close. All the TVs flicked to the Dodgers vs. DBags game suddenly, and Randy Wolf proceded to load the bases as I finished my Yuengling. I lost focus of what was going down onscreen, I think I was talking to my companion about the shortcomings of 3D cinema, and I turned back to the screen as BJ Justin Upton was slapping hands with his teammates in the dugout. His first ever grand slam. Randy Wolf was kinda smirking on the mound. Game over.

Or so I thought. This morning I scrolled past the fold on LAT.com to see "Dodgers Rally for 5 in the Eighth." Joy. I was pretty sure we were in the midst of one of those mini-slumps where we lose 3 or 4 series in a row, but with last night's resurgence and with Billingsly on the mound tonight, I have hope, confidence even, that we'll carry the best record in the bigs into July.

Do sweet Laxers really like the dodgers?

Where Are They Now: Travis Knight

Travis "The White" Knight spent three wonderful years playing for the Los Angeles Lakers, serving as our third string center during the 1999-2000 Championship campaign. After being drafted by the Bulls in 1996 and not even being offered a contract, TK signed with the Lakers. While some argue that his career highlight is his team-high 10 rebounds in a 119-96 win over the Warriors in March of 2000, others argue that his greatest professional accomplishment is his NBA playoff record for the quickest disqualification. In Game 4 of the 1999 Western-Conference semi-finals our Knight in shining armor fouled out in a mere 6 minutes.

After retiring in 2003, the harsh reality of being an unemployed, white, 7-footer hit him hard. For years he struggled with adjusting to life as a commoner. At bars, he struggled to garner the attention of females. He was forced to fly coach, yet couldn't fit in the seats. He could not afford custom cars, and thus was forced to buy a Subaru Impreza and learn to drive with his knees. He constantly bumped his head on the lintel of the doorway in his new condominium in Brunswick, CT.

All this changed when, in 2007, he underwent revolutionary height reduction therapy. After several orthopedic surgeries and months of rehabilitation he was released from the hospital a manageable 5'8''. After his release, he decided to pursue his love of performance. In his attempt to recapture the magic of celebrity, he began taking voice, dance, and beat boxing lessons and changed his name to Blake Lewis--a tribute to his two cats (Blakey and Lewis). In the 2007 season of American Idol, the new, ultra-confident, Knight appeared on American Idol. His flashy dance moves, soulful melodies, and incredible beat boxing captured the American public. Ultimately, however, Knight finished 2nd and has since faded back into obscurity. Today, Knight can be found in Salt Lake City, UT, a choir conductor at a local middle school.