I hopped into bed, flipped open my laptop and turned on mlb.tv just as the bottom of the 8th of last night's game began. Down 4-12, the Brewers put R.J. Swindle on the mound. A doughy looking fella who resembles something like Dave Matthews and Paula Poundstone's love child - A real comely ballplayer, as you can see. Swindle proceeded to get a major league shellacking. The type you would witness if your high school's varsity go-to middle reliever stepped on the mound to face legitimate major league ballplayers. That's what it looked like, and that's pretty much what it was. Mr. Swindle, Wikipedia tells us, "has five pitches, including a fastball, slider, change-up, cutter, and a 55 mph curveball." His "fastball," mind you, topped out at 80 mph. When Vin saw the man's curve, which clocked in at 53 and then 52 mph on the very generous Dodgers speed gun, he did everything except laugh in the dude's face.
“Wow, 52 mph! I think that’s the slowest pitch I’ve ever seen on the gun here at Dodger Stadium. I tell you what… if you strike out on that pitch, you really got Swindled!” [via Stop Making Sense]
Vin then went on to make some comment about how bad the Brewers bullpen and pitching prospects must be for Swindle to make the major league squad. It might have been the most pejorative thing I've ever heard Mr. Scully say.
Still, a couple Dodgers did strike out at Swindle's hand (Castro, Furcal), but when the inning was done the Dodgers had thrown 5 more runs on the board. Guillermo even put up an RBI bloop single. Swindle now has an ERA of 16.20. He has not thrown a scoreless inning this year. Seriously. Here's to hoping we see him on the mound tonight.
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