Greeny played for the Lakers from 1986 to 1993 and then again during the 1999-2000 championship season. The NBA's own Iron Man played in 1,192 games throughout his career, missing only three in roughly 14 years. The determination and resiliance exhibited throughout his career on the court was matched only by his resiliance and determination fighting off the ladies outside the Great Western Forum. Green let it be known publicly that he began, and ended, his career a virgin.
However, in the fall of 2001 Green's v-card was swiped by Shalonda Wiggins, an elementary school teacher from Green's hometown of Portland, Oregon. After 2 minutes of what Green described as "blissful enchantment" he knew that this was for him. Ten months later, after experiencing the lady boys of Thailand, Parisian burlesque dancers, and 58% of the female population in West Covina, Green enrolled in Nymphos Anonymous. He graduated from the program in six months and now lives alone with his collection of beanie babies in Rancho Cucamonga.
Green is, and always will be, a champion. His toughness on and off the court inspires all of us. He is a model of consistency and perseverance, and, like a beacon in the night, his morality shines bright in a dark dark world.
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