Lebron James, Sarah Palin or Joan of Arc

With every sports journalist in the country citing their "sources," --it's easy to break the news when you claim stake to every possible scenario, Chris Broussard -- claiming to know where King James is headed. I figured I, as a sports fan, should get my two cents in.

Let me begin by saying "The Decision" is the most self-indulgent, egomaniacal move I've ever seen in sports. I have no idea how/why his PR people think this is a good idea. The fact that he has given no indication of what he's thinking/who he is considering will make his decision unforgivable in Cleveland (assuming he doesn't sign with the Cavs) and substantially more painful for the other cities he doesn't choose. And to do it all on national television, wow. He's a d-bag no matter where he chooses to go.

Lebron can do the right thing for the NBA, and more importantly for himself, or he can do the wrong thing. To me, and to every other pseudo-objective observer, the choice is clear. Stay in Cleveland.

Considering the manner in which he's handled his free agency, it is the only way to salvage his legacy, reputation, and his Lebronism. Let's examine why, by reviewing all possible scenarios (excluding Cleveland) in order of probability!!!!

New York: Ok. I get it. New York is the greatest city to live in when you're rich. By far. The idea of him in D'Antoni's run-and-gun is sexy. He's the best open court player in the league by far. Maybe ever. Not to mention a renewed Heat/Knicks rivalry would be pretty sweet. It'd be fun to watch, but if he thinks this is going to help the Lebron brand, he's very, very wrong.

Lebron thinks he's going to be Jeter. He's not. He's going to be A-rod. If he signs with Knicks, and in turn stabs Cleveland and everyone outside of New York in the back/face, he INSTANTLY becomes the most polarizing sports figure in the world. He becomes the Sarah Palin of sports. By signing with the Knicks, King James will become the hero to few and the villain to many, many, many more. From a marketing and branding standpoint, Bron will ostracize the entire Midwest and just about everyone outside of New York.

Chicago: If Lebron is sincere about his desire to win championships, this is where he'll end up. With the development of Rose and Noah (assuming Jaokim's foot heals), and the addition of Boozer, the Bulls have some serious, serious fire power. If they can't sign Lebron, and instead use that money to add a Ray Allen-type and some depth, they're probably a better team than the new-look Heat and the Knicks with Lebron anyhow.

To put it in other terms, they don't need him. Lebron clearly wants to go to a team desperate for his services. The Bulls aren't. He won't be the savior of the franchise, he won't be the guy that brought the team their first championship in years, and if you've seen Derrick Rose, play you know he may not even be the guy who takes the last shot of the game.

Miami: He'll never be the face of this franchise. He's not going to take the back seat to Wade, the guy who brought Lebron and Bosh to Miami, for the next 5 years.

New Jersey: Everyone knows he doesn't want to go to New Jersey. The only reason he'd consider it is the opportunity to play for the Brooklyn Nets. If that's truly what he wants, he'll sign a 3-year deal similar to that offered by the Nuggets to Carmelo Anthony and re-evaluate in the summer of 2013 when they're in BK.

Clippers: No need to talk about these dudes, although, assuming he didn't blow out his knee or die of scarlet fever, it'd be fun to see Kobe and Lebron share a locker.