Ok my wondrous bunch of Dodger enthusiasts, let's embark on our journey toward the Bronx to face the mighty (over-paid and flaccid) Yankees.Next Stop: PHILLY!
Let's break this one down, position-by-position, including several intangibles, and see who has the advantage in this series (or at least as I see it).
CATCHER: Russ J. C. R. T. Q. Martin vs. Carlos Ruiz.
Winner: MARTIN – This one is a no-brainer. While Ruiz is an excellent catcher with an above-average arm and the ability to get on base, Russ is simply the best game-manager in MLB. Even the great Greg Maddux declared his unflinching love for the kid. Russ has taken a young, sporadic, inexperienced staff (Wolf has one career playoff start), and led them to the lowest team-ERA in the league. Russ is incredible defensively, a leader in the clubhouse, and is still REALLLLLYYYYYY due for massive hit.
1B: James Loney vs. Ryan Howard
Winner: HOWARD – Loney is a gold-glover with a nice consistent bat but this one was easy as well. Howard is a premier game-changer, with unmatched power. Howard is always a threat and has the strength to hit the ball out of the park in any direction.
2B: O-Dog/Ronnie vs. Utley
Winner: UTLEY – As much as I despise this guido, slick-rick d-bag, utley is perhaps the league's best 2Bman. The dude can straight rake and has a dependable glove as well. As for Dodgers, our all-star 2Bman, the O-dog, is now benched, so, yeah, this one goes to Philly as well.
3B: Lumberjack vs. Feliz
Winner: CASEY AT BAT – The Lumberjack gets the nod here by a long-shot. Casey is the silent assassin, the bums’ clubhouse leader, and a calm presence on the field and at the plate. His smooth walk in Game 2 of the NLDS kept the game-winning rally alive and his glove work on the field has been rock-solid. Feliz is an ex-giant with a vulva the size of an apple. The Beard takes the cake here easily.
SS: Raffy vs. Rollins
Winner: RAFFY – I know what you’re thinking…. Wow! No Way! Well, YES WAY!! I take Raffy here simply based on current form. While Jimmy was the MLB MVP just a few seasons ago, his ability to get on base has regressed quicker than the popularity of Creed. Meanwhile, Raffy is playing out of his mind, literally getting on base 2-3 times/game. He has been the catalyst for this team since September 1 and matched with his arm, his switch-hitting ability, his potbelly, the fact that he is my favorite player, and Rollins’ season-long slump, I give the slight edge to the Dodgers here (am I just bitter that I had Rollins in fantasy baseball and he stunk, maybe, but I digress)
RF: Andre the TacoMan vs. JaYson Werth
Winner: WERTH – This is the tightest race and the closest matchup (and perhaps the most critical matchup) in the series. Both players had breakout seasons, with JaYson (what’s with the Y werth) making an all-star appearance. Both players bat early in the lineup and have had some very clutch hits throughout the season. Both have been hot recently as well. I gave Werth the nod because he is a much bigger threat on the basepath, with 20+ SBs this season, and has a slight edge in the field (great range and a devastating arm to gun out baserunners). While Werth has the edge here, i believe that the outcome of the series might hinge on whichever of these two young-guns makes more big plays (both at the plate and in the field)
CF: The Bison vs. Victorino
Winner: KEMP – this one was easy. Victorino is a solid ballplayer and the type of guy that all great teams need and have, but when push comes to shove, nobody has more raw talent in this league than matt kemp. I mean that. He needs to channel it, but the kid is basically still a basketball player and is already turning heads in this baseball league. He is Griffey-esque in CF with speed and power at the plate. Now he needs to hang with Manny and watch some film and get out of his 98-strikeout-in-a-row slump and show up and batter the phils in the NLCS.
LF: Manny Being Manny vs. Raul (I took just as much roids as Manny) Ibanez
Winner: MANNY – Really? I need to explain this one? A very nice season for Raul (although he stunk 2nd-half, like Manny) but this is a joke of a matchup. Manny is heating up and look for the big guy to play a key role for the Bums in this NLCS.
BENCH: Dodgers or Philles
Winner: DODGERS – The Bums are sporting what might be the most complete bench in playoff history. Hall-of-fame slugger Thome is always a threat and rocked the ill ski googles during the champagne celebration, Juan-For-Four has been excellent and is our speed man, Loretta is the NLDS magic-maker, Ausmus is the veteran presence, the O-dog is a an all-star and gold glover for defense, and Castro is serviceable and talks to Manny. As for the Phils, Bako? Stairs (ugh the HR last yr)? Francisco? Cairo? Bruntlett? Ok, you get the point… Bums all the way here.
BULLPEN (non-closers): Bums vs. Phillies
Winner: DODGERS, easy. MLB’s-best ERA matched with an epic performance in round 1 vs the Cardinals. Between my father’s crush Belisario, Kuo, Troncoso, Mota (celebration MVP), and Sherrill the Postman, there might not be a deeper set-up arsenal in the league. Match that with Garland, DREAM WEAVER (came up HUGE vs the redbirds), perhaps Kuroda/Bills as long-men if we need them, this category is all bums by a longshot. Phils have some nice arms in Park (remember him!), Eyre, Madsen, Romero, Myers, and Happ, but the Bums are in a different class here.
CLOSER: Brox the Ox vs. Brad (Pujols Dinger still flyin’) Lidge
Winner: BROXTON – not even close again. Yes, Lidge was absolutely lights out… LAST YEAR! Yes, Lidge did not blow a single save… LAST YEAR! This year, Lidge has been an absolute nightmare. He led the league in blown-saves, lost his job on several occasions, had very few games where he threw a clean inning, and basically had his confidence shattered time and time again. Meanwhile, Brox has been the ox that we say he is. If the only question mark here was inexperience, then Brox answered those calls with his massive outings against Fat Albert and Co. in the NLDS.
STARTING ROTATION: Wolfman / Kershawshank Redemption / Vincente the Axeman / Bills(?) vs. Lee / Hamels / Pedro / Blanton
Winner: PHILLIES – I waffled on this one for a bit, but I will explain myself. To begin, I love the Bums’ staff right now. The Phils are a lefty-loaded team and the dodgers will throw 2 lefties in wolf and kersh at them right out of the gate. I believe in wolf, especially after watching his postgame interview in STL, and I anticipate a solid start out of him. We all know that I have a massive man-crush on Kershaw and I still truly believe his left arm is the answer to world peace. This kid is electric and his facial hair is unexplainably patchy. Padilla was the Bums’ NLDS MVP, with a career-best outing, deservingly earning an NLCS start. I also believe Bills, if called upon, will step up to the rubber and dish (even though the Phils battered him last year). Another person to keep an eye on is Kuroda, whose sushi-therapy is going well and might return for the NLCS. But, all that said, I still give the nod to the Phils for two reasons: 1) experience, Hamels was the playoff mvp last year and we all know what pedro of the past has done in the playoffs. More recently, Lee has been untouchable. 2) history, just last season in the NLCS, the bums couldn’t even see the ball vs. hamels, and Blanton pitched very nicely against us as well. I think we have the arms and talent to keep up with the phils, and the bats to smack em around. Blanton kind of stinks, pedro is aging, hamels has not been himself, and lee must be tiring a bit after his long outings vs the rockies, but until the game is played, I give the slight edge to the phils
MANAGER: Torre vs. Manuel
Winner: TORRE – Ha. I watch A LOT of baseball… a lot of sports for that matter, and I have NEVER, I repeat NEVER (short of Coach James Bond in my Pee Wee A State Championship hockey game, leaving Reid and I out on the ice for the last 6 minutes of the game in our heroic victory) seen a Coaching Clinic quite like the one Torre put on in the NLDS. And remember, his opponent was hall-of-famer Tony (Mr. DUI) La Russa. Torre had all the right hunches, made all the right calls, and simply led the Bums straight through a scary bunch of cardinals. An epic display of baseball wisdom by Ole Torre. Philly’s Manuel is a wonderful manager and a winner as well, more recently than Joe, but who would you rather have than Torre guiding your team in October? Exactly.
HOMEFIELD: Chavez Ravine vs. Stinkadelphia
Winner: LOS ANGELES – Last year, the Dodgers went down a few games in Philly and this series was all but over. However, hard work and 95 wins puts the Bums at home with Grandpa Vin this year to start the series, and this is a notable and obvious advantage for the Dodgers.
INTANGIBLES: Dodgers vs. Phillies
Winner: DODGERS – Now this is a category that I would be remiss to pass over. Let’s think about what’s going on right now with the Bums, shall we, and breakdown why the Dodgers simply have the MOJO WORKIN: 1) Grandpa Vin announces this year that he is retiring after one more season (DO IT FOR VIN!); 2) even though the Bums won an NL-leading 95 games, we are underdogs repeatedly, and everyone loves to play as an underdog; 3) things that just don’t happen to dodgers are happening, like Ethier leading the league in walk-off hits, Loretta stepping up to ice the game after Holliday took it in the junk, Torre making correct, game-changing decisions (instead of Tracy’s and Grady Little’s awful shenanigans as dodger skippers), and players not blowing up and striking out after bad calls, but fighting through at-bats to get on base; 4) FUN! We are simply having fun! Did you see the videos of the celebration? These dudes LOVE one another, they love being Dodgers, and they play for the fans. They know that there is a lot of work to be done, trust me, torre and Lasorda will not let them forget that, but these dodgers have the “IT-FACTOR” that winning teams display; 5) Larry Bowa. C’mon, the most intense dude on the planet. As my little bro calls it, “FIRE IN THE EYES!” If he has to, I feel like Bowa would take an extra-inning at-bat, this guy is hungry, and so are the Dodgers. MOJO to the Bums!
So let’s tally up:
DODGERS: 11
Phillies: 4
Looks like the Tale of The Tape has spoken. Dodgers it is.
LET’S DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bums in 6.
No comments:
Post a Comment